this will pass...

For the 1st time in my life...took dad for his follow ups...reports say he is fine and recovering well, but the idea of him getting back into smoking and back to his usual social life kinda worries me...I hope he remains strong to avoid that all for now.

I never thought that will have to accompany him, usually I do go with mom, I guess dad never needed it. Now he needs it. Even mom is being more dependent on me lately, you can say I more of a runner, hoped Razwan to be around guess he has his own stuff to do...yet I still feel he needs to be more responsible and feel less stress or burdened by the responsibility..maybe he is just unaware of it that he is actually needed..it's ok let him finish his semester..may be then he will get into the picture.

Since dad had a heart attack, lots have changed, I have built a certain concern and bonding with him, ofcourse he is my father, yet may be this has bring us close..He wouldn't want to show he needs me or want to depend on me but he has no choice..I am the only one he has. There is no one else..and this also made me realise that I am the only one my parents have..I ask myself if not me then who?

The sense of responsibility for family gives me the chills of growing up, I am an adult now. Yes I was before but I was less responsible or may be carefree and have few responsibilities. Situations like that make you become one. May be before this parents were more independent then now. As age is catching, as burden increases, and more attention needed. Human stop at one point that says..look I can't manage more then this, I need assistance and when that happens...you are needed. And as for me I will do anything for my parents...I pray to Allah daily for patience and strength to face it all.

Past 2 weeks after that had the attack on the 28th April has been tough for me and mom, up and down to the hospital. And dad's 'stubborness' what another patience tester for us both..he wanted to smoke, wanted to eat well, but cannot blame him, as he couldn't understand that he had a major heart attack..only now after 2 weeks he is accepting it..what me and mom has been telling him is right...well dad's heart attack was like a heart attack to us as well..hahaha

Shukaralhamdulillah....everything is ok now, just have to be more cautious, I am more cautious, the moment dad cough's at night I am awake...and on standby if he is ok..or is he breathing fine...and praying he wouldn't experience another heart attack...my 3 times experience rushing him to PCMC at 4am in the morning has made me an expert by now hahah...jokes apart...I would never want that happen to anyone...any father or any mother..any parent...

I hope and pray both my parents will always stay healthy and well...I love them so much....